A Letter to My Son: Don’t Take the Easy Laugh

(This post is part of my “Letters to My Children” series. You can learn about it by             clicking here).

Dear Evan,

Your Dad loves to make people laugh….or at least I enjoy trying.  Maybe it goes back to being a middle child, always fighting for attention. Or maybe it reflects the insecurities that I have and try to hide. Or Maybe it’s just that I enjoy comedy…just like you.  At this stage in your life the bar is a little lower in the comedy department.  I’m almost guaranteed a laugh as long as there is a story that ends with the words “booger” or “toot”.  And if that doesn’t work, there is always the classic trip and fall routine.

But, Evan, there will come a time where in your own attempt to say something funny, or make people laugh, you will be tempted to turn your focus toward a single person, to make him the target of your jokes. It’s an easy laugh. We’re all awkward and different and we have plenty of soft spots in our lives where a joke can land.  But, Evan,…don’t do it.  Of all the times I’ve tried to be funny, the times I regret the most are the jokes that came at the expense of someone else.  Some of those moments I still remember to this day.

You will meet all kinds of people in life who seem to know of no other way to talk to each other than to hurl insults and put-downs, dressed in a joke.  People like that are not as strong as they appear. Most likely they are covering up their own hurts and fears. So if you become their target, just know that about them, and love them anyway. But never, never go through your life making your own targets out of others….This is not who you are.

I’m writing this to you and not your sisters (though they should probably read it too!) because at a certain age, this tends to be the way that boys “assert dominance” or gain respect, and though it will be hard to see at the time, those same boys end up neither dominating nor being respected.

Evan, You have infinite value to your Father in Heaven, and you are priceless to your Mother and I.  So make people laugh, and find the humor that is everywhere. Your Mom and I love the way you come up with just the right line, seemingly out of no where, that makes us laugh out loud.

This is a special gift….Just don’t waste it.

We love you Son,

Your Dad.

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4 thoughts on “A Letter to My Son: Don’t Take the Easy Laugh

  1. LOVE IT!!! Very well said!! You have a gift for words!!! AND our family is Blessed to have you as part of it!!!

  2. What a treasure these letters will be to your babies! Thank you for sharing these on your blog. They are an inspiration to me to get my act together and write my own letters to my 3 sons. They are also a reminder of the basic things we should focus on with our kids. We get so busy with life that the basics fall through the cracks sometimes. Fridays on your blog will definitely be my favorite day! :)

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